Stick at it

It's all about persistence. Whatever it is you want to achieve just keep on plugging away you have got as good a chance as anyone else. The only issue is some people will have a head start from who they know. This only means you have to be more focused and work harder.

Very little in life comes without effort. My current goal is shifting some timber and uni shizzle. 

The weight loss is possible and I have been sticking to my plan for a week. Will be off doing jump fitness tomorrowso that can only help.

Really need to be back on my bike but last week was just too cold. It might sound like a excuse and that's because it is.

I have an assessed radio show tomorrow. You won't hear my wonderful vocal stylings as I am producing. It will be a bit of a mishmash of a show as it's important the whole group get a decent amount of content in for their portfolios.

Got zero DIY done today as there was too much normal stuff to do.

Freya is wearing new clothes she bought yesterday when she was out with her mum. They look lovely but she looks way too grown up for my liking. I still see a baby girl but she is growing up so fast.

We have been doing stickers in her frozen sticker book this afternoon. It's getting to the point where we get full packs that are all swaps it's both exciting and annoying. I once managed to complete the return of the jedi sticker book when I was a kid. It felt like a massive achievement at the time.

I am looking forward to our daddy daughter date night on Tuesday.  I just need to work out what we are going to do.

stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Decoration salvation - the trusty old zip tie

Well today the girls went out while I cracked on with the diy

I filled all the old screw holes and painted the newly plastered ceiling it looks quite nice now really just need to get cracking with the wall paper now.

While doing the ceiling today the handle on my roller snapped. This was a major issue until I thought back to my time in the army and realised zip ties can fix anything. See attached photo for engineering solution.

I really want the front room finished next weekend. It can't keep dragging on it will start to impact my study time for university.

Uni is feeling quite stressful at the moment which is the first time it has. I have about 6500 words worth of essays to write but just can't face it. Really just need to crack on.

My food intake is going well and not slipped with the binge session for 4 days. It must be a record. My mental health feels good just feel like I have loads of uni stuff to do. 

Tomorrow going out for tea for my mum's birthday. 

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

My 11 guests

Thinking about this I had to consider if the people would get along or if they would hate each other this made it impossible to ask my top guests. Then I thought it was my dinner party so I would just assume they would get along and that they would all speak English.

1. Jim Bradford - he was my best friend while in the army and I don't see him enough so any excuse. He would also be someone to talk to if the rest turned out to be really dull.

2. John peel - he is a bit of a hero of mine and it would be great to talk to him about music

3. Anne hatherway - she is an outstanding actor. I think she would be really interesting plus her smile is so big it would be easy to gage if she was having a good time.

4. Stacey Dooley - I love her honest niaviety and how she seems unphazed by the situation and more interested the individual than the whole.

5. Prince Harry - let's face it he know how to have a good time. Plus I would like to talk about his time in the army.

6. Dave Grimshaw - he was my lecturer last year and retired over the summer. I found a mentor and miss him a little. Although his replacement is doing a sterling job.

7. James cordan - I would love to talk about is career path and generally try and get a smiffy style rant out of him

8. Julie Andrews - who would not want Mary popping at their dinner party.

9. My nan on my dad's side - She sounded like a spirited woman who I never had the fortune to meet

10. My niece Ella - as I am very proud of her and would love to see her taking the fact that she is speaking to people who should be dead in her stride.

11. Freddie Mercury - well Ella would love that and he would be great for entertainment after dinner

12. Kate aide - she saw some shit going down. It would be good to hear her stories

Well that's my 12 like I said it can be anyone living or dead. There are loads of people you should invite but remember it's your dinner party don't feel pressured. There is the whole mother Teresa Nelson Mandela thing but it's my party and I am choosing

Let me know yours.

On another point my real favorite is with shell and the kids but I am pretty sure she would understand if I got invited to that party. She is good like that

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Tuesday night is Awesome

It's Daddy daughter Tuesday hooray.

So today is our after school experience. I was planning  on a nature walk but rain stopped play. I didn't  want to do trampolining again but Freya did. The roller rink was closed so there was nothing for it but Legoland discovery center Manchester.

It was awesome. Due to being after school it was pretty quite only about 8 other people in there.

The whole experience from start to finish was sugar coated candyfloss flavour family fun. I was amazed at the sheer joy that I felt. It was like being 8 years old getting everything I could have ever wanted for Christmas.

We got to get all the lego factory machines working. We had a battle with orcs trying to over run a castle. We did karaoke in the lego friends cafe. We built towers on earthquake tables and Freya made the tallest one which stayed up made me very pround. Mine collapsed but I think my earthquake was more severe and I am pretty sure I saw godzilla near mine.

We also watched a 4D film. I don't want to give anything away but I will say it's worth a visit.

We left via the shop and build our own lego characters. I made Steve jobs.
I wanted to make a David Bowie but they just never had the parts.

I would definitely go again for longer. It's a 4 star rating on the scale.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Jumping into that fitness

Well with riding so much on my bike and now trying new fitness thing you would think I would be  stick thin. I am not this is because I love pies and pizza and most of all cake.

So I have been trying to sort that out for the last few weeks and I am getting better. Oh and I did start before Christmas this is not a really new idea. The only thing new for this year is doing new things with Freya every Tuesday.  Tomorrow we are going on a nature walk unless it's really cold then I will need a indoor plan.

Not sure what yet if you can think of something for a 38 year old fat lad and a 6 year old girl to do let me know. If I don't use it tomorrow I have 50 other weeks to fill.

Ideally everything will be something energetic. It's part of my personal fitness campaign.

My reflux was bad today during the class best not eat before I go next time. I knew this really but as we have already discussed I am a greedy pig. I won't make that mistake again though.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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DIY DAD

So it been a busy few days of sorting and out and getting wallpaper stripped oh the joy. It's not a exactly been a pleasure. After 2 full days I have finished the hall stairs and landing and most of the front room. I have 1 alcove and above the windows.  As far as a workout goes it's been pretty good for the arms.

Being busy has also stopped me snacking. I also feel genuinely ready for bed.

Being busy like I have always makes me wonder about being a good dad. As due to doing D.i.y I have not had the same amount of time to invest in Freya.  I asked her about it today and she had not even noticed. Which I guess is a good thing.

We have been planing our Tuesday activity for after school. So far it is a nature adventure unless it's raining. Then it's an indoor thing but not sure which.

I am trying my best to be a better man. I even said a little prayer about it the other day. Which is strange as I don't feel religious. I wonder what that's all about.

I am off to jump fitness again tomorrow night. Let's see how that goes. I am still sore from last time.

Any ideas for daddy daughter dates are much appreciated.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Thanatophobia (Death anxiety)

Well it's another sey subject you just can't wait to here about.

I am a massive hypochondriac and I know that. I am getting better at realising it but somehow it's always there.

In the last year I have genuinely felt like I was about to die about 5 times. All reasonableness ignored on weather this was true.

I do suffer with constant annoying acid reflux all the time which when I think about it is obviously (in my mind) some kind of cancer. Even though I have had an endoscopy which found a small hiatel hernia. I have thought I was about to have a heart attack twice and ended up in hospital once. (I still think I was having one) if I get the slightest neck pain  or head ache it is definitely a stroke.

My latest one is when I am in bed I am sure I can feel a lump in my abdomen. (Which is I am pretty sure a spring in my bed) so I prod it till it hurts and then I have a sore lump in my abdomen which is even worse.

I have been checked by the doctor apart from slightly high liver function (I think because I am fat) which in my mind is liver or bowel cancer. I have to get this retested which I am putting off out of fear! (I know I am an idiot).

Why am a scared of dying. Well it's simple. I want to be here for Freya. I want to see her grow up and be able to support her. Am I really scared of dying. I don't think I am. What I fear is leaving Shell and the kids without me.

They are the reason I wake up and the reason I work. I live for them. I am at university at 38 to try and provide them with a better life. I want them to have nice things and great experiences.

So in honesty I am doing better. I can go months now instead of days without seeing a doctor. I realise this is all part of my ongoing battle with my mental heath but it's still hard to overcome.

I try to be mindful and am trying to be more healthy in my lifestyle choices.

Well glad I cheered you all up

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Determination, Decoration and Daleks

I am still struggling with snacking but I did only snack once and it was not the usual kind of binge. Which is a positive. I am booked into jump fitness tomorrow at the trampoline place even though at the moment I am still hurting from playing on them on Tuesday. Am taking a voice recorder and going to do some stuff for the radio/podcast. Put together a bit of a package and see how that goes.

Today has been pretty productive. Got loads of the hall and landing sorted out today, found a crack in the plaster and called a plasterer to see if it was OK....... Good news it was bad news while he was in I got a quote for the ceilings downstairs so am forking out for them on Thursday next week.

Went to uni and did some script writing, played Lego with Freya and made a Lego Dalek trap because why the hell not. I am still procrastinating about uni work but in think I am OK. Just need to make sure I am keeping up to date as the weeks move on. I am half way through my second year which is pretty scary stuff. If everything keeps going as planed I will graduate just before my 40th birthday which is really nice.

Reflux not as bad guess that's due to not eating the rubbish I normally do. Spoke about doing at LGBT podcast with a LGBT group in Warrington.

Shell has been quite bad with her Fybro over the last couple of days I am starting to get a bit worried about her again. I really don't know what I can do to help.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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