I Just Don't Get It

I'm not sure what you guys think but this year more than any other i am struggling to get my head round XFactor and Strictly and the worrying thing is i don't think we are meant to. 

First off both shows are basically competing with each other. That pretty much a given. XFactor has long had the wild card Louie Act like Wagner or Jedward and to a certain extent he seems to be forgiven for that and it adds a element of fun. 

This years surviving novelty on the other hand Honey G seems not to realise that she is the Joke. I feel as though at some point she will realise that people have been voting in a ironic way in protest at the show. I might be wrong and maybe people think she is going to be the next break through urban artist. I have not found anyone as yet willing to back her in this way. It feels cruel. Its like inviting someone to a party just to slam the door in their face and i am uncomfortable that it might cause her some harm. On the other hand she could be fully aware of the situation. I have a sneaky suspicion that Honey G is a female version of Ali G and a character that has been created for the show. Whatever is happening there i just don't get it.

Then we have the pole opposite on Strictly with Ed "Glitter" Balls he knows he is no good and as such is putting in a ridiculous amount of effort. That Makes the whole thing kind of bearable. There is a question here though. are people voting because they see he is putting in the effort or is it another ironic vote. For me i think it started as the first and has become the latter but only time will tell. 

So as i look at answering my own question of which show is winning i think Strictly takes it but at the same time i cant help but watch the car crash that is Honey G and XFactor. The problem is i dont feel good about myself when i watch it. 

stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Don't forget to follow 

A little more reflecting

Hi how are you doing. I mean that comment and let me know its important to me

Well today i have finally got round to starting to sort the thousands of photos from the round Britain trip. Looking through them brings back some amazing memories. Like when we played pirates in scappa flow and the time we disowned big al for being a turn coat. All great memories. I wish by some amazing fluke i had got a photo of the lightening strike (apparently known as devils scorn but i cant find a reference t confirm it). There were sunsets and sun rises that are burned into my soul and will never leave me.  I have got some pretty cool photos and loads of great footage but its taking much longer to organise than i first thought it would.

As there is so much and i'm a nightmare on Facebook i thought i would set up a page with all my media type stuff could be posted. link is here

https://www.facebook.com/TheRussPollard/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

If you want to then please follow it.

I am a changed person and for me it feels like its for the better some of the people around me may not think so but i refuse to become what i was before this experience. I felt like a shadow and i struggled with lots of what life threw at me. This challenge has made things much more simple and things are less of a worry. When you feel well life can throw you curve balls but with your feet firmly on the ground you just hit them back.

well I'v droned on enough today

stay safe, Speak soon

Russ

Back to uni

I really need to be getting back to uni i am starting to fall apart due to lack of direction. If i could i would just be down in falmouth sailing but with a family its just not doable that makes me sad. Until freya runs in telling me about her day. Then i just feel guilty about having my own wants. I am going to take her on an adventure on saturday but cant decide where to go. Mountains are always good but i have a yearning for the seaside. I cant really decide what adventure i can have at the seaside with her.

Some of you know i have a real dislike of horror films and horror in general. I dont see why people enjoy it but ho hum live and let live. Why do i mention this you wonder to yourself. Well its easy really i watched "stranger things" over the last week and despite my dislike of horror i loved it i think mainly due to the geeky stephen king references and the lovely scene of the boys on the railway track like "stand by me"

It was good and is worth a watch. I have been playing with all my footage and photos from my sailing adventure and am close to a paper edit so i can get the whole thing done.

I did a quick edit that you can find on my page somewhere but its just quick cut to some music.

Well im off for now

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Food addiction

I am addicted to food. It makes me feel better while i am eating then worse as i finish. Due to the fact i feel bad i eat which makes me feel better. Its a crappy addiction as you have to eat you cant go cold Turkey over the next 2 months i am going to document my eating and drinking habbits while writing about it in this blog. It is really so i just have a record of things but hopefully will help me control my addiction.

All over bar the shouting

After completing the challege of the last few months i feel i should reflect on what we achived.

We set out from falmouth and were face with a huge challenge right from the start when spirits engine gave way and saw us towed back to falmouth. After a strip down and semi perminant rebuild in falmouth spirit again made her way alomg the south coast of Britan to fail with a massive gear box failure.

After building relationships and being taken to heart the peope of the isle of wight will always hold a special place in our hearts. The mamouth leg round to newcastle was a thing of beauty the should have songs written about it that get sung in the halls of Valhalla. We crossed the pentland firth after great avice from locals that no chart or book could have given us. The Orkneys brought a glimps of how the world should be with community being at the heart of the islands. My faith in humanity was restored when the local fishing and diving community mobalised in the early hours of a sunday morning just incase we need help as sprits engine was again playing up. People stopped their lives in order to make sure we random weary strangers were safe.

We visited the westen isles and the hebrides and saw sunrises and sunsets on all coasts of the country. We ran fro. Storms and hid in an idelic loch where thousands of jelly fish sourronded the boat. We got caught in storms and struck by lightening. We saw dolphins and whales and killer octopus.

We visited random war graves and walked on beaches less trodden. We explored castles and woodland walked mountains and crossed streams. When the adventure was near someone went to find it. We spread the word about Turn 2 starboard and we made contacts and learnt tips and trick galour.

We did all this with a feeling of being part of something special. We did it with pride. We walked the walk and we talked the talk. We sailed for days stright to spend time in isolated locations. I have lived more in the last few months than at any time since i left the army. I owe thanks to the charity and bigger thanks to my amazing Michelle for giving me the chance to follow my dream.

At the start i was scared about how i would cope. About what would happen and about who i would be at the end of it. I was nervous about meeting people and not being liked. I was fearful of storms both physical and emotional.

I found new friends, a new family a new passion but more than that i found myself. I was there all the time just hiding in the corner of my eye. I have been happy , sad, board and exilirated. I have traveled a path that has led me to new place in my life. I'v become comfatable in my own skin.

Going back to the real world after this will not be easy. Thing will stay where you put them and the shop will be round the corner. I will have changed. I can already feel a need for adventure coursing through my veins.

Would i do anything differently? Well obviously there is one obvious thing that would need to happen next time. As we leave falmouth to travel around the country. Lets remember to turn to starboard and go the right way

Stay safe, Speak soon

Russ

Day 9

A spirit update - approching the Isle of Wight. Making good progress i think they will be caught up in a about 36 hours

Its been a bag of mixed fortunes since we slipped from Falmouth with some lovely sailing and some motoring through rough seas. There have been highs and lows in the weather and in mood. I have learnt so much on my way round and feel i am really getting the hang of sailing. I am understanding the complexities of setting sails for wind and helming under pressure. Tomorrow will tell as we will hopefully catch the wind and be well on the way to newcastle.

Day 8 go spirit go

Spirit update - fixed and on her way

Our update. We are going to shoot for ramsgate over the next few days while spirit catches up she is leaving with the tide today.

On Quivira we are a little gutted we wont be heading to the Azores. I think we were really talking Mike around to the idea.

Day 7

Spirit update - still poorly sick waiting for parts

Our update we have arrived in Brighton and are enjoying the weather. Its lovely and sunny we are in a georgous marina and i feel like as a crew we are really coming together. Yanto has decided to return to spirit as she will be setting off soon. I sort of want to go but really dont want to leave mike short handed if we press on.

There is a laundrey here so i can wash my pants and socks which is pretty handy as if it were any longer i am pretty sure the crew might keel haul me.

I am starting to feel like spirit might never set off.

Day 6 The Azores

Well lets say Spirit is not feeling great. She is a bit more poorly than we first thought. She need a bit of TLC and will be catching up soon.

The crew of Quivira have decided to sail to the Azores. Well all apart from Mike whos boat it is but its a work in progress. Maybe we can change course overnight without him noticing.

Its has been decided we will press on and spirit will catch us up in the next couple of days. I only have a couple of bits in my bag as i though it was only overnight but will be fine. I can always turn my pants inside out if it get that bad.

day 46

Day 46

Only dead fish go with the flow.

Bit of a heavy one to day with less octopi and dragons than normal.

It’s a very different experience having days off ashore and the general life aboard ship. That’s sort of obvious I know but its still worth some comment. We come ashore everyone has their own jobs. Yanto and Clive nip off early to get shopping in. Not because we are low on food but so Yanto can get out and explore the local area for a full recce report later in the day. Tamsin sets about project work making sure we have somewhere to go and arranging crew changes and spare parts (along with a million other tasks that I don’t even know about). Sort out the filming kit and set up the diary room. Dan tasks crew for any small jobs like putting up banners and such like. He is not having a great day today. He has pulled a muscle in his back and is trying to rest it. He struggles with that as he wants to be there doing everything.

I was left contemplating today the toll this must be taking on the 3 staff we have aboard. While it is a great experience for them their days are much longer than ours.  When we get to places they have stuff to do. When one of us is running navigation they have to keep an eye out to make sure it’s right.  They are running this part of what the charity is doing and at the same time planning and developing other projects. They are also away from their friends and family and like us Shaun and Dan have their own unique issues from service. We owe then a massive thanks to them and their families for sharing them with us this last couple of months.

Less of the serious stuff and onto court. This morning saw the 3^rd sitting of the Court of spirit. Any minor or even imaginary discretions can be passed to the captain where they will be tried in a court with prosecution and defence (I use the term defence lightly) at the end of the trial once your guilt has been proven punishments are dished out.  So far some examples of punishments are

The hand bag of shame: Yanto was accused of having poor admin and loosing things as such he has to wear a lovely gold handbag until we reach Liverpool.

The ships rat: Mo was accused of being involved in too many prosecutions and as such has too wear a stuffed rat for 48 hours. We are not to believe anything he says (unless it’s a point of safety)

There are plenty more but it would take too long.  Tonight we are having a family meal with the crews of the other 2 boats joining us which will be lovely. The plan was a BBQ but the weather has changed and its very windy and rainy. This will all be good for our journey to the isle of man tomorrow. It’s about 100 miles so will be a good passage back in watches. It should take about 20 hours I think. Then we will be in the Isle of Mann for a day or two before the hop to Liverpool.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

day 45

Day 45

The Brief Brief

Today one of the first thing I heard was Shaun(our skipper) tell Dan (the first mate) “can you just brief everyone that we are going to have a brief in 10 minutes. It was quite funny as we do seem to have lots of briefs on-board. It’s not a bad thing as we always talk through what we have done and learn from any mistakes. The most important brief of the day is also one of the highlights. After tea we have the skippers brief where everyone gets the chance to have a say about the day and discuss ongoing issues pass on messages. It’s a really nice end to the day after we have all sat down for spirit family dinner.

Today we have sailed down the Sound of Islay the island is renowned for its whiskey and we passed by a few distilleries on route. It is a beautiful and the remote locations gives it a gentle radiance that wraps you up and makes you feel warm and cosy. I think I could live here. It has been a really nice day. We spent the morning and early afternoon getting spirit looking her best. This is not a massive job anymore. The crew treat her well now and take great pride in making sure she looks good. Nobody ever walks past a job. We might not do it straight away as it could be part of a bigger plan. People do ask if it needs doing and then learn why not or crack on if it needs doing. She is our home and we love her.

We have been together as a fleet for the last 2 days which has been really nice Quivera took her turn at engine trouble today. As they thought they got it fixed they came on the radio to tell us. “the engine is runnin…….oh no its broke again”. They got if fixed a hour later. The skipper of Quivera Mike is an engineer and not really phased by any mechanical issues it took a while but he sorted it.

September shadowed Quivera in case they needed to return the favour of a tow that had been given in Tobermory. Tonight we are in port Ellen and are staying for the day. While on the radio today we were called on the radio by Pete and Nancy who are sailing up here at the moment. For them that don’t know Pete taught a few of the veterans how to sail and Nancy is an amazing chef who often supports the crew ass the spirit plods about on her adventures.

Today is day 45 in 17 days this will all be over. I am already feeling a bit sad about that. So far I am pretty sure I have changed and grown. I own that to Turn to starboard, the crew and this wonderful lump of wood that we call home. I think as we sail back into Falmouth it will be important I am not on the helm as if I am there is a really good chance I will hang a right, turn to starboard and go round again the other way. I doubt many of the crew would argue.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

day 44

Day 44

What A Day

Neptune was good to us today. We sailed from Oban to (according to the skipper) just over there. The wind was kind and after a faultless departure we got all the sails up with Chris running the deck. Spirit looked and sounded magnificent with the wind thudding through the sheets on the GIB allowing you to feel the force of the wind as Spirt harnessed the wind and pushed herself elegantly forward. We did not see the Giant killer octopus today but we think it’s out there somewhere just waiting to pounce. People have been on good form today with loads of laughter and plenty of fun. The crew are getting slicker than an oiled weasel down a greased drainpipe.  After the sails were put up people thinned out and talked with some napping on deck. I was having a lovely little nap right up till we got hit by a gopper and it washed over me. I was soaking wet and the rest of the deck was still bone dry and in the sun I got up and it looked like a crime scene silhouette where I had been lay. (It is ok to laugh, I did).

The new members of the crew have settled in and the fleet is still together. Spirit is sitting well at her anchor but from here quiveira and September look like they are rocking more than as and it does not look like great conditions for them. I think quiverias crew will be fine as they are all quite experienced sailors. September might not be fairing quite so well with some new sailors. They do have all on board though so at least moral will be high. Everyone is a bit sleepy today as last night we had a good catch up with the other crews and it was a late night. (No it was not alcohol fuelled it was just really nice to be together and people were talking late into the night) We are planning on a beach BBQ for all the crews which I am really looking forward to.

Thanks for engaging with the blog its really nice to read your comments and ideas.

We had homemade pizza and potato wedges for tea at about 9. The sun set is lovely and the waves are rocking spirit like a babies’ cradle which is making me want to go to sleep. We have no signal so you won’t get this for a few days.

Stay safe, Speak soon

Russ

Day 43

Day 43

Oban to Oban new crew

Well we have had less monster attacks overnight which meant we all got a good sleep. We are still a little worried the octopus will be back so we are keeping our eyes out for her.

Clive made us a wonderful breakfast which involved mackerel scrambled eggs and bacon. The Mackerel was caught last night by our own fair hands so your really don’t get much fresher than that.

The day brought new people which has been really nice. The new faces on board are just trying to find their place. 2 have come over from September and one has travelled up from Falmouth to join us all the way home. The crew welcomed them with open arms, part of that was due to the fact we had 70 meters of Anchor chain to pull up and many hands make light work. The hydrolics are due to be fixed in Liverpool so we are all making the most of the free fitness sessions in the morning. Anchor fitness. It might make a good business idea. Maybe we can make a fitness DVD for people to join in with.

“Anchorcise available Now. For just £9.99 you can have a body like mine.” (Well maybe a body like mine is not much of a selling point but you get the idea.)

We have moved from Oban Bay to Oban north pier and tonight we are moving back to Oban bay. This is not just for “Anchorcise” practice. We needed to fill our fuel and water up before we set off tomorrow.

We have a couple of short days followed by a couple of longer ones to get us to Liverpool in time for the tides. Moral is still high and life is still good (obviously, how could it not be. On a boat with amazing people)

I am going to get a bit personal now and talk about myself again. I seem to do it a lot lately but this one is very Turntosartboardy. Today has not been an easy day for me. There is not a reason for it. Sometimes like most people I just get low. Today was pretty bad and I let a couple of thing get to me which I shouldn’t. The Very special nature of the Spirit of Falmouth and the people on board make the worse days and the worst feeling melt away into nothing and life feels good. I am ending what started as a bad day on a high and I will take that as a massive win.

Day 42

Day 42

Busy Busy Jobs

To start with I would like to comment on the comments about day 41 pre blog about octopus and pirates. There seems to be doubt in some people’s minds as to whether or not this happened. Firstly, let me put things straight in your minds I did happen. We don’t have any proof as the octopus ate our cameras.

So Oban is a buzzing metropolis in comparison with the last few stops. It is a chance to get everything fixed up and resupplied ready for the next leg of the adventure. We have new people arriving tomorrow and crew swaps between the yachts and spirit. So it will be a bit of a swap round and a new settling in period as the crews bed in and get to know each other’s quirks. 

Tamsin has been her awesome self and arranged the Outboard to be fixed which means we will have out bow thruster……I mean tender back. Dan has been back and too in Septembers Tender which he can now steer without his hands. Not sure how he is doing it. Use your imagination to work that one out.

Yanto and a group of volunteers went to do the shopping for 16. This boat now has about an extra 2 tons of edible ballast. You can’t open a cupboard without a tin or packet of something attacking you like Kato Attacking Peter sellers in the Pink panther films. (I know it’s a olds reference but I like it) Me and Chris blasted the boat cleaning with more bleach and disinfectant than you could imagine making the whole down stairs smell nice for about 20 mins.

Not sure about tea tonight mince is great but it’s easy to just keep going back to the same old faithful spag bol and chilli (although we have not really had them) I’m thinking homemade burgers possibly. Any ideas for recipes are welcome. Everyone has been busy till 1500 and then gone to explore the new lands around us. It’s great to visit these lovely places many which I know I will never see again but will hole in my heart forever.

As the new crew come on board some people are apprehensive and some a little excited but while that is going on I am quite sad as big Al is off onto September for a while to build his miles and skills for his yacht master Qualification. It was always lucky to be on his watch as that’s when the Dolphins, whales, Seals and Mermaids. He will be back but I will still miss him while he is gone. He has been a key member of the crew.

Well its time I started making some tea for everyone. It’s a good thing. I love cooking and I feel useful while I’m doing it.

Stay safe, Speak soon

Russ

Day 41

Day 41

Sails Ho!!

Day 41 saw us depart from Tobermory and arrive in Oban. The events in-between involved a giant octopus having to be fought off by the crew and the emergency stitching together of underwear to make a sail. We fought off pirates and followed them back to their lair where we used our cunning tactics to steal their treasure. So a pretty quiet day really.

We left Tobermory with our hearts full of wonder as it seemed we might be in the right place with the right wind to get the sails up. We set off after a spot of tender relay. Out tender is a bit worse for wear but luckily a nice chap in Tobermory called Colin lent us his. After getting back everyone back on board and slipping lines we navigated a Cruise liner that seemed to have a unique style of anchorage and communication. I’m not saying it was wrong but it’s not like anything I’ve ever seen before.

We set out into the sound of Mull and the wind was with us we set about getting up a full sail set. Dan and Tamsin took the lead we had all the sails up in 28 Mins which is a record for us. (manly because it’s the first time we have had them all up) we were with the wind and sailing lots of other boats came to see us with September coming along side to take some pictures of us in all our glory. We did look pretty amazing and you could feel the power of the wind in the sails.

There was lots of learning done today by everyone. On helming under sail, on setting the sails, on navigation, and on life in general. We were a team that anyone would have been proud to be part of. (Team work does make the dream work). There was no slack today everyone was involved and the long sails with sleeping between watches has slipped into storage just in case we need it in the future.

On a personal note (which again I make no apology for even though it is a little self-indulgent).

I feel like I am part of something big, something special, something that will stay with me till the end of my days. While the crew are all very different with a wide range of backgrounds and needs there is something about this boat that builds moral and a sense of belonging. Dan, Shaun and Tamsin give us time and patience to ensure we go beyond knowing how to do something and onto why we do it.

Stay safe, Speak soon,

Russ

Day 40

Day 40

What’s the story in Tobermory?

I realise the title is somewhat of a clique but in all honesty I like it so make the heavy sigh and roll your eyes in my lack of creative flare and then get on with the task of reading the blog.

Well here we are in Tobermory on the isle of Mull in the western isle. “why are you still there?” passes through your head. Well keep reading and I will explain. Our passage yesterday was great fun even though people seem to have gotten themselves stuck in the watch pattern of longer passages and spent much of the passage in bed. We had Chicken curry for tea last night which was really good. Then we went ashore where I took the ships teddy bear Fraser to visit all the Balamory landmarks. This is for my daughter I sent her the photos and she was quite excited about it.

We then went for a social beer and after a pint a band came in and set up. It was a great folk band playing all the greats. The atmosphere was great as the crews of September and Spirit came back together. Stories were told and issues discussed and here we come to why we are still here. September is feeling poorly. The crew are working on her but until she is fixed we are stuck where we are. The boat has been dried out and a fix is underway. Spirit is waiting as if September cannot be fixed we can tow her to the mainland. Has anyone else noticed that every problem we have had as been on a weekend and on an island. It’s not ideal when you are trying to fix old boats. Except the Orkneys them guys have got this boat fixing down to a tee.

So we are still here. We have made good use of the time with lessons from Dan on marine navigation. I have sorted all my admin and baked some bread. I have spent the rest of the day sorting tea out just to keep busy. That’s the thing that gets you down when you are stuck. Trying to be useful and busy without getting in the way. It’s easy to go to bed but nobody wants to do that. Our collective attitude is to get stuck in and get things done. Below decks on spirt has never been so clean and tidy and she smells the same.

Well hopefully we will be on our way tomorrow and I will have exciting new stories to tell you.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Day 39

Taller than we think?

“So quick question how tall is spirit?” “Lets see if she will fit under this bridge!” All conversations that were happening at the same time last night. We were not sure how tall she is so after some measuring we left the Figures in the semi-capable hands of Dan who after lots of planning came to the conclusion we might fit under the bridge. This effectively put nobodies mind at ease. He checked the maths several times to ensure that spirit would fit under using his best commando maths of one, some, and many being the preferred units of measurement.

We departed Broadford Bay and headed for Tobermory via the Skye Bridge. As we approached it looked low and spirit took a deep breath and stretched to her full height just to ensure nerves were on edge. We ensured we had plenty of cameras out to catch the bridge being hit but it never happened. With a sigh of relief Shaun told us he had never doubted Dans maths as he checked it himself!!

Todays passage is being run by Chris who is part of the Zero to hero scheme trying to achieve his Yacht master qualification which is the core aim of the charity to find. He upper the anti as skipper today by making bread and butter pudding. Now Carlsberg don’t do skippers but if they did they would all make Bread and butter pudding like Chris does. Some skippers on board really need to take a look at their priorities. The food on-board has never been bad but over recent days it has gone from preparing food out of necessity to what would make a great new TV show “The Hairy boaters.” (I stole the name from the crew of Quavira) The food is getting better and better which keeps moral high.

Tobermory is a pretty spectacular place only topped by the whole team being together again as we re-joined the Yachts who are also part of our fleet. We will be leaving in the morning for Oban where we will spend the weekend before we leave to start our slow passage to Liverpool for the 19^th.

Stay safe, Speak soon

Russ

Day 38

Day 38

Neptune seems miffed with us

After a night in Loch shell in the world of Dragons. While we never found a dragon we did find a need to mark our anchor chain more accurately. As we had a moment last night where the anchor might have been slipping. Good leadership from Shaun and calm reassurance from Dan made us feel secure and after a quick anchor watch all went back to normal.

The rain hammered all night and the boat swang on the chain as the storm raged outside of out safe harbour. We felt it even in this haven from the raging gales. The weather was broken on our radio as our signal was blocked from the guardian mountains around us.  It was decided we would leave later than the original plan using the best information we had the storm would then have passed.

The gale had left a legacy of choppy seas that as we approached the afternoon were swamping the deck and water rushed past the helm and off the back of the boat. As the weather reached its worse I was off shift. Some of the crew went to look and described the scenes as “something out of the deadliest catch” I decided my best option was to stay in my bed and adopt the foetal position. So while I could feel the waves and hear the rain I never made it back to the deck in time to feel the full force of the waves. To be honest quite glad about it. As evening approached the seas calmed and our normal routine took over.

We are heading to Tobermory but it looks like we will have to sit out the night at anchor again to wait for the tides. It will leave us with a shot hop tomorrow where we can catch up with the Yachts and bring the team together ready of our arrival in Oban on Saturday.

Moral is high. There is plenty of singing and laughing and I wrote a rubbish poem. Maybe I will share it at some point (it is deliberately rubbish we were doing rubbish poems about the sea on watch)

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Day 37

Day 37

Here be Dragons

We left Stornoway early this morning with the plan of reaching a beautiful anchorage early evening. The journey started out with spirit gracefully pulling away from her moorings and the crew waving goodbye as he was still on the quay. This was intentional as Dan was todays skipper and we retrieved Shaun by Tender where he promptly went to sleep giving Dan the boat. It must be strange to stand on the land and watch your boat sail away.

We set off under motor in search of the wind and made a track that would give us wind for the best part of the passage. Then the weather report came almost laughing at the mocking I had made of cape wrath as a gale waring straight in our path seemed like a good reason to search for a safe haven and that we did. After a visit from a pod of dolphins and a shout that there were buoys ahead that turned out to be the kind that take off fly around and eat fish. That’s right the buoys were in fact Gannets. I am sure it is an easy mistake to make??

We sailed into Loch Shell on the isle of Lewis after only 25 miles as it was our plan for safe harbour. As we sailed in and visibility and the misty weather took hold of the water around us I am sure the Charts should have read (here be Dragon. As if there are still dragons in the world then surely they are here. We Anchored up and sent a shore party in search of signs of flying lizards. Shaun, Tamsin, Yanto and Tony jumped in the tender and climbed the hills that surrounded us. Then through the mist we heard the clacking of what sounded like a Dragon. Dan as skipper shouted the order and we prepared out water bombs only to discover just to late it was the tender returning the boat. Fortunately, the aim of the general crew was poor so the shore party got back on board without incident. (to be fair the weather was not that bad and we knew exactly what we were doing but Dan was the skipper and orders is orders)

We are tonight anchored in a gorgeous loch with no signs of life (except Dragons) it is a beautiful part of the world that most people will never see.

On a self-indulgent note for which a make no excuse. I have felt more at ease with myself today than I can ever remember.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

check out my sound cloud for the forcast

Day 36 – For real

Stornoway – Isle of Lewis

The spirit really attracted a crowed today. The Press on the Isle of Lewis were excitable about our visit and pushed our arrival across different platforms. This meant we received a number of visitors throughout the day which was really nice to see. People are really interested in us but Spirit is by far the star of the show. People have questions that most of the crew can now reel off parrot fashion having spoken about them on many occasions. People went out and explored the island today some staying close to the boat in local watering holes. Others went farther afield and a few went up to Stornoway castle. It is an old castle that is undergoing renovation and overlooked a lovely golf course and the spirit on her harbour wall.

The crew are upbeat and moral stays high we have created a moral forecast in a similar style to the shipping forecast. Have a listen and comment what you think about it. Its really just a draft and will get better.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Day 35 part III

Day 35 – Part III

The Legend of Cape Wrath

We ended up with an Unplanned stop in Stromness. If you look at the tracker you will see we left twice. The first time we had a mechanical issue with the hydraulic pump and the gear box. This meant we were losing drive in very Lollopy (we are not sure if we made this word up or not?) conditions. As we realised the change in engine tone was not just the rough seas on the prop Shaun calmly took command releasing Dan to get some sails up with the rest of the crew. While we were getting ourselves sorted the crews of Quivira and September offered assistance but with things well underway the set off for a good days sailing. We were soon offered assistance by Shetland coast guard a local fishing vessel and a Dive boat. We did not need the assistance due to the first class “turntostarboardy” response from the whole crew. The knowledge we had the help on standby gave us a lift and we sailed back to where we had started only hours earlier.

After a quick conversation with a local engineer he came out and manufactured the part we needed on a Sunday morning. The Orkneys and the people who live there are truly wonderful. With our new part fitted we set out again with the fears of cape Wrath in the middle of the passage. This is an unforgiving headland on the northwest tip of Scotland, historically notorious for crushing vessels between it and the force of the Atlantic Ocean. We settled into shifts and conversations wandered onto music and we decided the art of the mix tape was dead. Nobody makes mixtapes anymore. We also discussed first songs bought. We had some really special songs in the mix. From Black lace and s club seven to Adam ant and Bob Dillion. Can you remember your first single? If so comment and let us know. We might create a Spirit of Falmouth mix tape which would be pretty awesome.

Before we reached that formidable beast of cape wrath the old man exposed himself to us. In the distance we could see the old man of Hoy. The plan to sail closer was scuppered due to the weather not being favourable and with doubts about the engine we had to admire the monolith of rock protruding from the Atlantic from a distance.

As we progressed Cape Wrath appeared dark and gloomy in the distance, while behind us unicorns were pooping rainbow leaving a colourful trail behind us. (What do Unicorns eat? That might be a questions for my next watch. Any Ideas??) The sea went almost dead calm and looked like smooth silky oil rippling in our wake. Again the planning of the skipper and first mate came together giving us a pleasant night passage. They are getting good at factoring in incidents to ensure we reach everywhere as conditions are perfect.  In the early hours we arrived in Stornoway with a full day to explore there will be plenty to talk about on day 36 as people get out and explore the island.  

Stay safe and speak soon 

Russ

Day 35 Redux

Blog Day 35 Re Dux

What day is it

OK so before any of you start I know its only day 34 and my blog has been labelled day 35 for 2 days but I have no idea how long we have been out here. Plus I really like 3 part trilogies so you will just have to bear with me for a while.

Well today saw us tucked up safely in Stromness in the Orkneys after having to wind the Anchor in by hand due to a small issue with the windless system. In true Turntostarboardy style we proved that team work really does make the dream work taking turns winging in 40 meters of anchor chain by hand. After a night of rest and knowing we had a day on the island people went their separate ways to explore the island. Some of the guys for Quivera and September made a 17 mile(each way) trip to one of the islands distillery’s. I am sure there is a separate challenge in there somewhere but i am not privy to the detail of the trip.

A group of 4 of us took a bus ride over to the far side of the islands to look at a few WW2 landmarks. Firstly, we had a look around a church that had been created by Italian prisoners of war in an old Nissan hut. They had used bean tins and boxes to create a fitting place of worship. (if that’s your thing). Then a short walk took us to Churchill’s barriers. These are massive blocks of concreate dropped between the islands with roads on them connecting the islands. The true reason was to stop the German navy sailing a u boat into the bay and sinking our northern fleets. The day brought everyone some much deserved rest and a chance to explore a place many of us will never return to. We all came together at the end of the day for a big “Turn to starboard” family meal. This is one of my favourite parts to the day. We all sit down and eat together banter flows and discussions about the strangest things flow. A recent discussion was about really rubbish super hero powers and what would be the most useless. Examples we had were.

1.       The ability to fly but only 1mm above the ground and only at the same speed you can walk

2.       The power to be invisible but only when nobody is looking at you

3.       The ability to read people’s minds but only outload

4.       The ability to make cans of coke go flat.

If you can think of any, please share them with us and we can add them to our useless justice league. Maybe we can design some outfits for them out of stuff on the boat who knows I’m just waxing lyrical now really

 After we have all finished eating Shaun will brief/debrief on the day and everyone gets a chance to speak. Passing any information or comments on. It allows people to get issues off their chest but more often than not there is praise in the mix.

We are pretty much caught up with the schedule now and leave for the buzzing metropolis of Ullapool in the morning.

Day 35

Day 35

A Jolly day of Piracy

I will start with an apology for the length of the post but loads happened and I like writing.

After the harrowing long passage to Wick we spent the night and set off with expectation for the Orkneys. Moral and excitement were high as we were about to cross the Pentland firth one of the most notorious patches of water around the British Isles. The Skipper and first mate planned a route and discussed it with local sea fearers who gave advice from their local experience. We slipped lines slicker than a wet otters nose and left the Sleepy village of Wick and Steve P.B behind us. We set off and some slight doubt about the tides and local knowledge ensured a plan B was in place before we crossed Pentland firth to the Orkneys. We could not afford to mess it up in unforgiving seas. As back up plans were completed we hit an expected eddy locals had told us about which sped us to the start line at Bang on 09:04 much to Dan’s delight as this was his time to be at the departure point for the crossing. This was all thanks to Chris ensuring we hit the deadline by taking his time getting himself back onto spirit from the tender. So well done Chris for your professional procrastination and ability to make the first mate look good (he needs the help).

We crossed the Firth with little issue and made it into Scapa flow with sunshine and fair winds all the way. We turned to see how the Crews of September and Quivera were doing, they had manged to delay slipping lines just long enough to ensure they could enjoy the squalling rain we had missed as they crossed the firth as the seas became rougher adding to value to the adventure.

We found a Bay and dropped our anchor for lunch. With moral high from a sound crossing and glorious weather our minds tuned to mischief and we deployed our catapult ready for the arrival of Quavira and September. If the next part sounds a bit childish that’s because it is. We have a water bomb catapult capable of firing 300 Feet and a Lt Col of artillery on board so it seemed rude not to test out our weapon systems. After a quick practice we waited patiently until our chance to attack arrived. Our initial attacks were successful but we soon found out that Quavira had the ability to return fire. It became a battle that will be talked about through the ages due to the fact that 25 fully trained Veterans were unable to land a single water bomb on target. As the fun from the water bomb died away the crew of spirit spent time in each other’s company. Friendships were made and strengthened, stories were shared and the day felt very “turntostarboardy”(I make no excuse for making up words and will be doing it again).

The round Britain challenge had always seemed like it should be like this. Due to challenges faced and the adversity overcome together we had a shared experience that allowed our bonds to grow. We had sailed through the long nights under the careful guidance of Dan, Tamsin and Shaun and we had arrived in the sunshine to the half way point of the trip with tales to tell. We lifted anchor and sailed into Stromness where we would stay the next day.

There is another post to write about over coming these challenges but I think it is best saved for a reflection at the end of this story.

Day 5

A New plan today, get as many people as possible onto the two support yachts. I been put onto Quivera 2 an amazing boat. Its a rustler 42. Those who know about yachts will know what i mean. Them who dont just thing "shiney and special"

As i joind with my day sack the plan is to sail round to foye and spirit will catch us up. We sailed all day getting a spinicer up and enjoying the amazing weather even is the wind is slight. I feel like we really achived something today by sailing in such light wind.

Mike who owns the boat is a great guy. We arw a crew of 5 at the moment but 2 of us are really spirit crew. We cant wait for her to join us

Stay safe, speak soon.

Russ

Day 4

With the engine in pieces and hope we can get underway soon we are sitting around waiting for spares. The crew are bonding and freindships forming out of this, the first challene in many.

Well today i feel i have gained a whole new family away from the bond that veterans have and away from the common experinces that many of us share. There was a low point today that i struggled with the details are not important. I over committed to something beyond me and i failed. I could not contain my emotions and became overwhelmed. A new brother helped me with a hand on a shoulder and a short walk in reflective conversation.
The situation changed from one that could have taken me weeks to work through to a mere blip on the horizon of life.

I over commited emotionally and forgot to look after myself. While i still feel embarrest about my emotions streaming through like they did i also learnt that this boat, this crew, and this charity have a unique soul that seeps in and pushes darkness from you leaving only the comfort, saftey and honesty that only a family can give.

Day 3

We slipped ropes as planned and under the kindest blue sky we sailed out of falmoth. The sails unfurled in the light wind and the engine provided a comforting hum keeping us on course.

Moral was high and the team were teaching us how to control the sails. The engine stopped and the golden sound of motion from the wind embraced the crew and a sense of euphoria kicked in. After a few moments of pure joy. I realised the engine was not stopped deliberately. It had infact failed. The Spirt was making way undersail but our engine had failed.

The challenge of what we were about to do was suddenly clear. This is not just a holiday on a boat. After some some time in the engine room utilising knowlege from my service it was clear we needed a new part.  With dropping winds spirit was really only drifting. Our other two boats the september and quivera majestically  sailed around us bringing the feeling of comfort only brought by good friends. The moral on board instead of plumiting impoved. The crew took control and guided us threw what was needed. Everything was calm and everyone was happy as we were towed back into falmouth by the RNLI under the cover of darkness.

We were back along side in falmouth and if i were to say the spirit sighed with a chuckle under her breath you would not belive me. She is a wiley old girl making sure we are worthy of her company as she undertakes this journey of a lifetime. Maybe she though we had gone the wrong way out of the harbour when we turned left after all we should have probably turned to starboard. 

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Day 2

Well today sneaked past in what felt like minutes. We have put more stuff on the spirit of falmoth than i thought she would be able to hold. I think if we pushed anymore stuff into the cupboards it would start poppi g out like a game of "whack a mole" We have nearly a full compliment of crew. Just a couple to arrive now. There is not much space on board. Living conditions are going to be pretty cramped. We slip lines at 1845 tonight and will sail up to foye about 4 hours away (depending on the wind). Life is going to be hard for the next 2 months.

Tonight will be our first meal onboard. No idea what it will be but with any luck it wont be spag bol. Its not that i dislike spag bol its just i have a real concern that will be a staple over the next 2 months and would like a more inventive start to our catering than that.

Its good to get to know new people and quite nerve racking at the same time. The crew are already trying to become a team i guess its just the military way. People just want to help.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Day 1

Today i woke up onboard a tall ship. It is really the start of my adventure. I will be  leaving my family for 2 months. While leaving them feels like the hardest part of this challenge i am sure there will be others during the voyage. When i first decided to take part in this adventure i realised it would be all or nothing. I would have to let the world of material things go.

Even as i write this i know it is another world i will be entering over the next two months. The motion of the water and the sounds of the sea will be with me 100% of the time. I will have my guard up 100% of the time as i have some serious trust issues. This will all be exhausting. I hope over the course of the voyage i can address these issues and build my self confidence which has been low for some time. I have a companion for the journey and his name is Fraser. He is a teddy bear given to me by my daughter because "he wants a great adventure too" I will through his eyes show my daughter the diversity and beauty of the english coastline.

After my first night on the boat i realise i need to make my bed more comfortable. It was not a great sleep. I have the need to sleep some more i just cant wait for tonight but today is going to be busy preping the boat for setting sail tomorrow.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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New social media

I have been playing with this new social media appover last few days.its good fun give it a try

Follow me on Beme. https://beme.com/the_russellpollard

The voyage part 1

Well its not really the first part of the voyage its more about my prep. I have been getting excited and scared about the challenge ahead of me.

I have started to pack and laid out everything i thought i would need on my bed. I then looked at the bag i have and realised i was slightly over optomistic of the possible tardis function of my bag.

2 month on a boat with 1 small bag leads me to think long and hard about the people fleeing syria and how hard it must be to pack knowing you may never get home. I realise i will get home my point is it made me think.

So packing aside i have bern teaching myself all about night identification of boats. Well revising i had an amazing skipper who managed to get this stuck in even my collinder of a brain. He had a real talkent as an instructor.

Well its all good for now with 25 days to go i will definitely be updating here youtubetastic and audio booming the hell out of the trip.

Below is the route with the dates and its all looking good. If you are going to be near any of our stop offs come say hi.

Stay safe, speak soon,

Russ

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Date: 2016 Voyage Note the schedule
May 31 Falmouth.
June
1 Depart Falmouth. Arrive Plymouth. 
2 Depart Plymouth.
3 Arrive Weymouth or Poole
4 Depart Weymouth or Poole
5
6 Arrive Margate
7 Depart Margate.
8 Day Off/Shore side engagement
9
10 Depart Ipswich.
11
12
13
14 Arrive Whitby or Brunswick Bay
15 Depart Whitby. Arrive Newcastle.
16
17
18
19
20
21 Depart Newcastle. Arrive Holy Island or Firth of Forth
22 Depart Holy Island
23 Arrive Peterhead 
24 Depart Peterhead.  Arrive Wick. Depart Wick
25
26 Possible Pentland Firth Race in this slot
27
28 Arrive Orkney.
29 D.O/Shore side engagement
30
July
1 Depart Orkney.
2 Arrive Stornoway, Isle of Lewis.
3 D.O/Shore side engagement
4 Depart Lewis
5
6 Arrive Tobermory, Mull.
7 D.O/Shore side engagement
8 Depart Mull.
9 Arrive Greenock. (Glasgow) 19 DAYS
10 Day Off /Shore side engagement.
11
12 Depart Greenock. Arrive Isle of Arran
13 Depart Arran
14
15  Arrive Isle of Man.
16 D.O/Shore side engagement
17 Depart Isle of Man. Arrive Whitehaven. 
18 Depart Whitehaven.  
19
20 Arrive Liverpool
21
22
23 Depart Liverpool. Arrive Holyhead.
24 Depart Holyhead.
25
26
27 Arrive Lundy
28 Depart Lundy.
29 Arrive Isles of Scilly
30 D.O/Shore side engagement
31
August
1 Depart Scilly. Arrive Falmouth

When illness is unallowed

This post takes me back to one i did a while ago about fibromyalgia. 

As i have mentioned in that post it is easy to feel guilty and resentful at the same time.

The issue i have at the moment is i feel (fully self imposed) that i am not allowed to be ill or tired as i dont have anything wrong with me (apart from some mental health stuff that i have had under control for a while now). I feel like if i am ill then its not real or does not count. Its not that i get ill alot its just even when i want to sat about hiw i feel (as we all do from time to time) its not really on the same level as shells issues.

Take care, stay safe

Russ

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Raise the main sail

I have spent the last few days pretending I'm a pirate. Well that's not exactly true. I have been down in Falmouth on a familiarisation trip. I spent 3 nights living on board "The Spirt of Falmouth" A tall ship belonging to Turn to starboard a Military charity helping retrain ex soldiers for a career as a yacht master.

They do so much more than that which could be almost impossible to write down and quantify. I came away on Saturday with sense of well being I have not had in years. I had started to come out of my shell and started to feel like myself.

While out on the water the worlds problems melted into the sea and I was untroubled. Time between moving sails left time for mindfulness and it was nice to be in the moment. The sense of belonging from just being on the boat while it was along side (I never knew that was the term for being at the marina until now) gave me a place I felt secure.

The lads who were on the boat, who have been with the charity for a while, were outstanding hosts. As were the office staff and volunteers that I met.

The experienced guys who joined us made it so we were always supported during any activity on deck. Of all the things I have done to help my personal mental health, this has had the biggest impact over the shortest time.

During the summer I am part of a team that are circumnavigating the British coastline with Turn to starboard. Thay are always looking for funding and donations so if you think you can help out then please get in touch with them so they can help more people. My issues around reajusting to civilian life are nothing in comparison with many of the people they help. It leaves me feeling like a fraud. I dont feel like i should even be allowed in the same room as these guys. I really have nothing to moan about in comparison. It really helped to put things in prespective. I really should just get over myself.

You can give here

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=RussellPollardroundBritain

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Train shame prices

Well in early Feb I went sailing I I drove down in my own car. I am due to go again on the 4th of April for a week, this time however I am not taking the car due to shell needing it as the kids are off school so they can get out and about.

I looked at the prices of the trains and realised that they are quite expensive £187 from Warrington to Falmouth . that's just under 8 hour with 3 changes. It seems quite expensive.

Next I looked at coaches and again it was really expensive I had to go via London and it would take about 12 hours. I then remembered the young lad who flew home via Berlin because it was cheaper and after a couple of mins sure enough it was only £145 1 hour flight. Then I looked at onward travel and the train was the only option and nearly £40 and 2 hours!! Plus the train to the airport it seemed I was going to have to bite the bullet until I saw an advert for car hire. I did some price checks and found I could hire a car for less than £100 even with petrol it was cheaper than the train. I kept looking and eventually managed to rent a car for the week for £82. Fuel will be £70 at the most. It will be door to door and I will have access to the car all week. Not sure how this can be allowed to happen. I can even pay £1.25 to offset my carbon. I'm not sure how that works I guess they will plant a tree or something.

Well that's my rant over

Speak soon, stay safe

Russ

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The fate of civilisation

Is civilisation on the brink of collapse. The summery for what caused the fall of the roman empire is.

Economic collapse and the arrival of the barbarian hordes had a lot more to do with the end of Roman rule." In 'The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire', Edward Gibbon blamed the adoption of Christianity as the official religion and a decline in civic virtue as the reason for the collapse.

According to Philip Matyszak, a historian and author with a doctorate in Roman history from Oxford University in an article from the times. "No historian is going to argue that debauchery brought about the end of the empire,"

Well if that's the case and all civilisations have finally collapsed how far are we off the end of the current capitalist system?

In the last 10 I feel I have seen a decline in society on the whole. I realise a lot of this comes from savage cuts to council budgets. Some is due to the extra litter and general wear and tear on community people stop caring about how things look. Areas are starting to look desheveled. Community is almost non existent in many areas. People don't talk to neighbours, use local shops or even engage with community events.

This is leaving young people with lack of guidance to do what ever they want on the streets. The police are over stretched and over worked. With reduced powers. How long before organised crime becomes a more dominant force in the uk.

If you look at what happened to Rome they were complacent they were to strong and to big to fall. A bunch of untrained barbarians sacked Rome and brought the empire to its knees. Is there a modern day barbarian horde knocking on the doors? Well there could be but we are taking them seriously right? Well not really.

I am genuinely worried about any grandchildren I might have and how the world will look for them.

Anyways that's all folks

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Essay writing for the uneducated (like me)

There seems to be no more scary a statement in my life than "the deadline is next week"

Well my tips to deal with this are simple.

1. Ignore the fact you have plenty of time to do this essay and concentrate on the fact that between now and the submission you have 3 hours of stuff planned in and you have no idea where you will find the time for it.

2. Plan to start at least 5 times but then spend an hour deciding on what to have on in the background on Netflix. Then watch the entire box set

3. Start writing essay making huge assumptions on what you think you know about the subject.

4. Look for quotes to back up your work and realise everything you have done is wrong.

5. Start again and rewrite ensuring you stick to the facts. Feel confident at your finished work.

6. Read assignment brief for the essay and realise both of your previous drafts are not even close to what you should be doing.

7. Edit and rewrite essay to crowbar it into brief. Realise this now makes no sense. Leave it alone for 36 hours.

8. Start again after watching Netflix before you start. Try to find last draft but realise you have lost your usb stick. Start from scratch

9. Write your essay read 10 time feel confident it makes sense.

10. Submit online and feel both smug and confident

11. Re-read essay and realise it is total nonsense. Cry until you see other people are not even started.

12. Go to the bar and belive charma will see you though

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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My big "blue" tool kit

Hopefully you made it through blue Monday intact yesterday. I had planned in advance to be busy so was okay

What next blue Monday is gone but y he nights are still and the weather still cold.

For me it's about focus. I like to set aside time to be glum. I know it's sound daft but I know the gloom is always just over my shoulder so instead of running or hiding from it I like to accept that it is there and give it 20 minutes every now and again. In doing that I take its power sometimes I even laugh about it.

Don't get me wrong it sneaks up on me and derails my plans from time to time but on the whole I know it's there but own it. I use it to fuel my creative side.

Being creative however you feel is a really good way to express your feelings. I write scripts or short stories mainly. Other people I know paint or do crafts or make music.

It is important to look and see if there is something for you.

If it's not creative it could be sport or another hobbie. It could be a combination of all of these. The most important thing is to build yourself a good toolbox that can support you.

For me mindfulness is key 3 dedicated 15 minute spots a day without fail. I brake them down into a physical check in the morning followed by a mental check around lunchtime. Then before bed I like to process my day. I try to pick 3 good things a day out and relive them in my head.

Sometimes good can be "I managed to get up" sometimes it might be "I won an Oscar" (okay that's not true, I always get overlooked for Oscars like De caprio)

I think you get my point in finding the victories in the day. If you find them it sets up tomorrow. It kind of spirals into better days, Better mood and Bigger plans. It's self propagating.

This is just how I do it. Another key skill is "turn your phone off" beds are for sleeping not stalking ex's on Facebook; or reading random blog posts.

Well that's it for now

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Dealing with blue Monday

Did that blue Monday even existed.

It is easy to see why this would be a pretty low week for people. It's the end of the month so money is low. It's dark on the way to work and on the way home. That's enough to make most people glum

Well what can you do to pick yourself.

First thing I did was book onto a fitness class tonight at 7 that gives me something to look forward to.

Then I picked out a new radio station to listen to today I chose absolute 90s which has played some classics that have really picked me up.  Try listening to something new.

My next plan was planning my food for the day I know I have a curry to look forward to after my gym class.

mindfulness has played a big part in my day ensuring I am checking in new with myself during the day.

I have started to plan out and fill my week as I know if I get time for procrastination I will hit a spiral. That does not mean being busy all the time but it means have planned inactivity. Watch TV, reading a book.

I suggest reading a book and getting involved in #boysownbookclub. Have a look at my previous bolg post about it.

Anyway let me know how you are getting on and take care of yourself

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Stick at it

It's all about persistence. Whatever it is you want to achieve just keep on plugging away you have got as good a chance as anyone else. The only issue is some people will have a head start from who they know. This only means you have to be more focused and work harder.

Very little in life comes without effort. My current goal is shifting some timber and uni shizzle. 

The weight loss is possible and I have been sticking to my plan for a week. Will be off doing jump fitness tomorrowso that can only help.

Really need to be back on my bike but last week was just too cold. It might sound like a excuse and that's because it is.

I have an assessed radio show tomorrow. You won't hear my wonderful vocal stylings as I am producing. It will be a bit of a mishmash of a show as it's important the whole group get a decent amount of content in for their portfolios.

Got zero DIY done today as there was too much normal stuff to do.

Freya is wearing new clothes she bought yesterday when she was out with her mum. They look lovely but she looks way too grown up for my liking. I still see a baby girl but she is growing up so fast.

We have been doing stickers in her frozen sticker book this afternoon. It's getting to the point where we get full packs that are all swaps it's both exciting and annoying. I once managed to complete the return of the jedi sticker book when I was a kid. It felt like a massive achievement at the time.

I am looking forward to our daddy daughter date night on Tuesday.  I just need to work out what we are going to do.

stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Decoration salvation - the trusty old zip tie

Well today the girls went out while I cracked on with the diy

I filled all the old screw holes and painted the newly plastered ceiling it looks quite nice now really just need to get cracking with the wall paper now.

While doing the ceiling today the handle on my roller snapped. This was a major issue until I thought back to my time in the army and realised zip ties can fix anything. See attached photo for engineering solution.

I really want the front room finished next weekend. It can't keep dragging on it will start to impact my study time for university.

Uni is feeling quite stressful at the moment which is the first time it has. I have about 6500 words worth of essays to write but just can't face it. Really just need to crack on.

My food intake is going well and not slipped with the binge session for 4 days. It must be a record. My mental health feels good just feel like I have loads of uni stuff to do. 

Tomorrow going out for tea for my mum's birthday. 

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

My 11 guests

Thinking about this I had to consider if the people would get along or if they would hate each other this made it impossible to ask my top guests. Then I thought it was my dinner party so I would just assume they would get along and that they would all speak English.

1. Jim Bradford - he was my best friend while in the army and I don't see him enough so any excuse. He would also be someone to talk to if the rest turned out to be really dull.

2. John peel - he is a bit of a hero of mine and it would be great to talk to him about music

3. Anne hatherway - she is an outstanding actor. I think she would be really interesting plus her smile is so big it would be easy to gage if she was having a good time.

4. Stacey Dooley - I love her honest niaviety and how she seems unphazed by the situation and more interested the individual than the whole.

5. Prince Harry - let's face it he know how to have a good time. Plus I would like to talk about his time in the army.

6. Dave Grimshaw - he was my lecturer last year and retired over the summer. I found a mentor and miss him a little. Although his replacement is doing a sterling job.

7. James cordan - I would love to talk about is career path and generally try and get a smiffy style rant out of him

8. Julie Andrews - who would not want Mary popping at their dinner party.

9. My nan on my dad's side - She sounded like a spirited woman who I never had the fortune to meet

10. My niece Ella - as I am very proud of her and would love to see her taking the fact that she is speaking to people who should be dead in her stride.

11. Freddie Mercury - well Ella would love that and he would be great for entertainment after dinner

12. Kate aide - she saw some shit going down. It would be good to hear her stories

Well that's my 12 like I said it can be anyone living or dead. There are loads of people you should invite but remember it's your dinner party don't feel pressured. There is the whole mother Teresa Nelson Mandela thing but it's my party and I am choosing

Let me know yours.

On another point my real favorite is with shell and the kids but I am pretty sure she would understand if I got invited to that party. She is good like that

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Worlds best Dinner party

Who would you invite to a dinner party?

So A formal dinner with you and 11 guests. You can choose anyone living or dead but need reasons.

I will work on mine you work on yours I will let you know mine later.

105 kg - 178cm = me

Well its official I am obese. My BMI is at 33ish. I am over 16 stone and should be around 12 stone. So that's the target 4.5 stone loss.

It's not easy when you think about my eating issues but that is just an excuse really.

So how am I going to do it. I have thought up my own diet plan. It's called the "move more, eat less plan" it does exactly what it says on the tin. I will let you know how I get on from time to time. If I reach my target I will have a party.

What is a realistic target? I think about 2 lbs a week to start with then it will slow down as I get closer to my target.

I might take a start and end photo but not really sure yet weather I could face the world seeing it. Plus on a real level who needs to see fat Russ photos. Maybe there is some kind of fetish group out there.

Am in work later on 12:15 - 14:15. I am considering doing jump fit again tonight. Not sure yet though. Might be a good idea but don't want to burn the idea out and end up not going at all. It's a bit like January gym memberships burn out.

Later that day..........

Well I decided not go and do something I a stood around in the cold for a couple of hours this afternoon so I just need to walm up.

Done well with my food today so far.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

Motivation lacking, faith questioning?

I don't have any lectures on a Wednesday. Today I planned to start glossing the hall and landing. Start work on another essay. I managed to watch telly. I did turn my computer on  so big points for me there. Win.

It's been a strange day. I got a message off someone I know vaugly. I have always thought them a nice person but never really had the chance to get to know them. We had a short discussion about mental health and faith/church.

This is all a bit deep for me but I have been questioning my faith a lot recently as over the last 8 years I don't think I have visited a church apart from a wedding. I have not prayed since I left the army. Then a couple of weeks ago I started praying again. I asked for the strength to be a better man. I have been asking the same since. Then today I got a message from someone who I barely know offering me words of support and helpping me re open the internal reflection with my relationship with my faith. It just seemed a bit spooky.

This afternoon I went out for lunch and then had a hospital appointment. I am going to have a few tests and see how things are. I don't think there is much wrong with me that loosing some weight would not fix. (Obviously I do think I am ill and about to die but I am trying to fool myself, shhhhh don't tell me)

So tomorrow I am going for some blood tests. Hooray that will be fun.

We bought an Aldi smoothie maker today which I thought would be rubbish but it's pretty good to be honest.

This evening we have had a meeting about the restructure at work which just feel a bit intimidating to be back in this process again. I won't talk about that at the moment. As it's a sore point really the way I feel on the subject.

Then this evening before bed I watched heartbreak ridge. You gotta love gunny highways method of preparing his troops.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Tuesday night is Awesome

It's Daddy daughter Tuesday hooray.

So today is our after school experience. I was planning  on a nature walk but rain stopped play. I didn't  want to do trampolining again but Freya did. The roller rink was closed so there was nothing for it but Legoland discovery center Manchester.

It was awesome. Due to being after school it was pretty quite only about 8 other people in there.

The whole experience from start to finish was sugar coated candyfloss flavour family fun. I was amazed at the sheer joy that I felt. It was like being 8 years old getting everything I could have ever wanted for Christmas.

We got to get all the lego factory machines working. We had a battle with orcs trying to over run a castle. We did karaoke in the lego friends cafe. We built towers on earthquake tables and Freya made the tallest one which stayed up made me very pround. Mine collapsed but I think my earthquake was more severe and I am pretty sure I saw godzilla near mine.

We also watched a 4D film. I don't want to give anything away but I will say it's worth a visit.

We left via the shop and build our own lego characters. I made Steve jobs.
I wanted to make a David Bowie but they just never had the parts.

I would definitely go again for longer. It's a 4 star rating on the scale.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Jumping into that fitness

Well with riding so much on my bike and now trying new fitness thing you would think I would be  stick thin. I am not this is because I love pies and pizza and most of all cake.

So I have been trying to sort that out for the last few weeks and I am getting better. Oh and I did start before Christmas this is not a really new idea. The only thing new for this year is doing new things with Freya every Tuesday.  Tomorrow we are going on a nature walk unless it's really cold then I will need a indoor plan.

Not sure what yet if you can think of something for a 38 year old fat lad and a 6 year old girl to do let me know. If I don't use it tomorrow I have 50 other weeks to fill.

Ideally everything will be something energetic. It's part of my personal fitness campaign.

My reflux was bad today during the class best not eat before I go next time. I knew this really but as we have already discussed I am a greedy pig. I won't make that mistake again though.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Turn and face the strange

"Turn and face the strange"

Let's take that statement and roll with it.

Change is a part of life and even the force exerted in fighting change is in itself a change to your normal habits.

I have struggled with change in the past. The last 2 occasions I have had major significant change I really struggled. My mental and physical heath took a pounding. Now not so much I have learnt to embrace change.

Iv not just rolled over to the inevitability of in just change I still fight and try to stop the growing wave of change that removes our rights.

I am currently undergoing big change in my own life with more government cutbacks effecting my job again. I have only just come to terms with the last round.

The change that I will be taking time to reflect on today is the death of David Bowie.

Can music change you?

I think it can feed your soul which can be a catalyst for change on our journey through life.

What do you think? Let me know

I will leave you with this

"The truth is of course is that there is no journey. We are arriving and departing all at the same time."

David Bowie

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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DIY DAD

So it been a busy few days of sorting and out and getting wallpaper stripped oh the joy. It's not a exactly been a pleasure. After 2 full days I have finished the hall stairs and landing and most of the front room. I have 1 alcove and above the windows.  As far as a workout goes it's been pretty good for the arms.

Being busy has also stopped me snacking. I also feel genuinely ready for bed.

Being busy like I have always makes me wonder about being a good dad. As due to doing D.i.y I have not had the same amount of time to invest in Freya.  I asked her about it today and she had not even noticed. Which I guess is a good thing.

We have been planing our Tuesday activity for after school. So far it is a nature adventure unless it's raining. Then it's an indoor thing but not sure which.

I am trying my best to be a better man. I even said a little prayer about it the other day. Which is strange as I don't feel religious. I wonder what that's all about.

I am off to jump fitness again tomorrow night. Let's see how that goes. I am still sore from last time.

Any ideas for daddy daughter dates are much appreciated.

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Thanatophobia (Death anxiety)

Well it's another sey subject you just can't wait to here about.

I am a massive hypochondriac and I know that. I am getting better at realising it but somehow it's always there.

In the last year I have genuinely felt like I was about to die about 5 times. All reasonableness ignored on weather this was true.

I do suffer with constant annoying acid reflux all the time which when I think about it is obviously (in my mind) some kind of cancer. Even though I have had an endoscopy which found a small hiatel hernia. I have thought I was about to have a heart attack twice and ended up in hospital once. (I still think I was having one) if I get the slightest neck pain  or head ache it is definitely a stroke.

My latest one is when I am in bed I am sure I can feel a lump in my abdomen. (Which is I am pretty sure a spring in my bed) so I prod it till it hurts and then I have a sore lump in my abdomen which is even worse.

I have been checked by the doctor apart from slightly high liver function (I think because I am fat) which in my mind is liver or bowel cancer. I have to get this retested which I am putting off out of fear! (I know I am an idiot).

Why am a scared of dying. Well it's simple. I want to be here for Freya. I want to see her grow up and be able to support her. Am I really scared of dying. I don't think I am. What I fear is leaving Shell and the kids without me.

They are the reason I wake up and the reason I work. I live for them. I am at university at 38 to try and provide them with a better life. I want them to have nice things and great experiences.

So in honesty I am doing better. I can go months now instead of days without seeing a doctor. I realise this is all part of my ongoing battle with my mental heath but it's still hard to overcome.

I try to be mindful and am trying to be more healthy in my lifestyle choices.

Well glad I cheered you all up

Stay safe, speak soon

Russ

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Big effort, Big rewards

To start with I have a massive headache and pain down my neck. Due to the fact that I am a massive hypochondriac this means I am definitely dying. Or stripping wall paper all day after doing jump fitness might also be the explination. If I do feel really ill I will get it checked.

Is life down to luck?

Well yes but I think luck for those of us from hubble beginning comes directly from the effort we put in.

This is a broad sweeping statement that can be proven in either direction by multiple case studies. If I look at the people I know the ones who are committed to stuff and put in the effort are the ones who achieve the luckiest outcomes in life.

This effort is often undermined by the efforts of others but in the long term determination does seem to pay off.

Natural ability and circumstances of birth obviously influence the way people progress in life but with out drive it is easy to squander the advantages. The level of effort needed by people without this advantage is vastly increased but you still see people breaking barriers and grabbing their opportunities.

Rant over with a final message "if you want something go out and get it" (me, just now.)

Well did book onto jump fit again on Monday at 8 if you fancy it book in quick.

Today has been spent mostly striping wall paper from hall stairs and landing and front room. Tomorrow will be spent the same way. Except tomorrow might include picking some paint too. I can't wait! Is it fair as a bloke to say. I really don't care what it looks like.

Speak soon, stay safe

Russ

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